We are playing Bowery Ballroom Saturday and Jack answers a couple more of your questions…

Dear Jack, Do you have any tattoos?

Yes, I have several tattoos on my internal organs done with radioactive ink to impress x-ray technicians. I mean if people can see your ink without heavy duty medical equipment, whats the point? totally light weight.

Dear Jack, I notice that you spend a lot of time touring with the popular and dynamic music group for which you are so justifiably lauded. Tell me, what’s the most terrifying thing about being on the road?

Well, if i had to answer that question in one incredibly long run on sentence I think I’d say : dyslexia, depression, excessive anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, alcoholism, illicit drug abuse, weight loss, eating disorders, exhibitionism, persistent aggressive and violent behaviour, and hyperactivity combined with severe attention deficits.

You Asked:

Dear Jack, I’m planning a dinner party. If you could join 6 people for dinner and drinks (anyone, be they alive or dead), who would be at your table? Are you available April 30?

Thank you for asking, I am always up for dinner and drinks. Well first off, I would like one of the five other people to be my date so that there is a whole other question. Who would the other two couples be?  Initially i would say Nick and Nora Charles but i kinda want to ask Myrna Loy out myself so that would be weird (side note-if you are ever on Saint Mark’s Place close to First Avenue in front of the theater there Myrna Loy’s handprint and signature is pressed into the concrete. I often go out of my way to smile at it. tiny little hands!).  I always wanted to party with Lux Interior and Poison Ivy. Since that leaves three dead people and two living ones how about Poison Ivy and I go together and let Lux pick his own date? who would Lux ask?  Let’s explore- I’m guessing Jayne Mansfield. But then would Ivy be jealous thus meaning she and I would have a bad time? Can the living be jealous of the dead? Since Ivy is already angry about me eyeing Myrna I’d say that’s a yes. Crap. Things get so complicated. Just ask me out for a steak. Thanks.


You Ask, Jack Answers

Dear Jack,

Is it true your eyes bleed? A friend of mine In England said that he saw it when you stayed at his parent’s house.

My stigmata has been wildly contested on wikipedia over an article in The New York Post and i think got someone in trouble with a Wiki truth enforcer working full time for them up in Canada! Don’t mess with those people!  I do cry real blood, my pillow cases can attest. It doesn’t hurt though it is kind of disturbing to see.  I’ve been to doctors about it and their replies have varied from “No they don’t.” to “you don’t need a doctor, you need a priest.”  It is however a very effective way to end an argument.


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